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my stillborn dream

by my stillborn dream

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    (9) songs, 4-Panel Digipak, liner notes, song credits, cover art by Rebecca Bathory (UK)
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Special edition white vinyl/splatter LP w/alternate artwork now available!
    Cover photo: Rebecca Bathory (UK)

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1.
Isolation 04:30
In fear every day, every evening He calls her aloud from above Carefully watched for a reason Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self-preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation Mother I've tried please believe me I'm doing the best that I can I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through I'm ashamed of the person I am Isolation But if you could just see the beauty These things I could never describe These pleasures a wayward distraction This is my one lucky prize Isolation
2.
Primary 03:05
The innocence of sleeping children Dressed in white and slowly dreaming Stops all time I slow my steps and start to blur So many years have filled my heart I never thought I'd say those words The further we go, the older we grow The more we know, the less we show The very first time I saw your face I thought of a song and quickly changed the tune The very first time I touched your skin I thought of a story and rushed to reach the end too soon Oh, remember Oh, please don't change And so the fall came 13 years A shiny ring, oh how I could forget your name The air no longer in my throat Another perfect lie is choked But it always feels the same So close together Dressed in red and yellow Innocent forever Sleeping children in their blue soft rooms still dream The further we go, the older we grow The more we know, the less we show
3.
The Texas sun Makes my back burn And the Texas sun Makes my back, makes my back burn The sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive And the sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive And the world The world turns around And the world and the world It drags me down Well the heads that turn Make my back burn And the heads that turn Make my back, make my back burn The fire in your eyes Keeps me alive And the fire in your eyes It keeps me alive And so in her you'll find Sanctuary And so in her you'll find Sanctuary And the world The world turns around And the world and the world The world drags me down And the world and the world and the world It drags me down
4.
Down where this ugly man Seeks his sustenance Down in the blue The midnight flair A glass hand cuts through the water Scything into his twisted roots Then from his eyes spring fireflies Breathing life into a roaring disguise Needles and sins, sins and needles He's gasping for air In the wishing well Dust to rust, ashes on gashes Hand around The Killing Jar Hand around The Killing Jar A soft hoodwink of shadows Size of make-believe Punching through his spike of rage A glass hand cuts through the water Snuffing out the magic fury Then from inside bolt lightning cries Swiftly crush the final muffled sighs Needles and sins, sins and needles He's gasping for air In the wishing well Dust to rust, ashes on gashes Hand around The Killing Jar Hand around The Killing Jar
5.
Come inside boy, they call this fun! Music to please the adolescent Taking the easy way out again Part of the process same old story Follow the leaders Follow the leaders Look at the leaders You just condone all that you know Playtime it doesn't last forever Shouting about it, you're taking the bait Walking again in the same direction Follow the leaders Follow the leaders Look at the leaders Time moves on and then you notice The ground starts to tremble beneath your feet Man killed man and blood was shed! The gasp of relief at human nature Follow the leaders Follow the leaders Look at the leaders
6.
Dumb Waiters 05:08
Give me all your paper Ma Give me all your jazz Give me something that I need Something I can have Mrs. London's coming 'round She's coming with her son Give me all your paper Ma So I can get a gun She has got it in for me Yeah I mean it, honestly She's so mean Give me all your paper Ma So I can buy a train They just want to suck you into being one of them Tell her that I'm not in here Tell her I'm a freak Tell her that I fall about every time I speak She has got it in for me Yeah I mean it, honestly I just scream (really) Give me all your paper Ma So I can get a train Don't know how I got in here It's making me insane Have another cigarette and have another cigarette In the room where lovers go Talking on the telephone They have got it in for me Yeah I mean it, honestly They all dream....
7.
Sleep on, and dream of love Because it's the closest you will get to love Poor twisted child So ugly, so ugly Poor, twisted child Oh hug me, oh hug me One November Spawned a monster in the shape of this child Who later cried But Jesus made me so Jesus save me From pity and sympathy, people discussing me A frame of useless limbs What can make good all the bad that's been thrown? Oh! And if the lights were out Would you even dare To kiss her full on the mouth Or anywhere? Poor twisted child So ugly, so ugly Poor twisted child Oh hug me, oh hug me One November Spawned a monster in the shape of this child Who must remain A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her A hostage to kindness and the wheels underneath her A symbol of where mad, mad lovers must pause and draw the line So sleep, and dream of love Because it's the closest you will get to love Oh! That November is a time which I must put out of my mind One fine day, let it be soon She won't be rich or beautiful But she'll be walking your streets in the clothes That she went out and chose for herself
8.
Learning lines in the rain Special effects by Loonatik and Drinks The graveyard scene The golden years She's in Parties It's in the can She's in Parties It's in the can Freeze frame Screen kiss Hotheads under silent wigs Fall guys tumble on the cutting room floor Look-a-likes fall on the cutting room door She's in Parties It's in the can She's in Parties It's in the can Learning lines in the rain Special effects by Loonatik and Drinks Freeze frame, screen kiss, hot lights Her powder is patently obvious She's in Parties It's in the can She's in Parties It's in the can Hot lines under a rain of drums Cigarette props and "Action!" Dialogue dub, now here's the rub She's acting her reaction She's in Parties
9.
A black-eyed dog, he called at my door A black-eyed dog, he called for more A black-eyed dog, he knew my name The black-eyed dog, he knew my name A black-eyed dog A black-eyed dog I'm growing old and I want to go home I'm growing old and I don't want to know I'm growing old and I want to go home

about

Early dark wave/post-punk classics re-interpreted on mandolin accompanied by professional cellists & injected with synthetic grooves.

"Follow The Leaders" video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NkF2sWs4dQ

"She Sells Sanctuary" video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CFHp-GG78M

credits

released March 10, 2021

Produced by: Marty Beal, Antoine Arvizu, Paul Berrer
Mastered by: Joe Bozzi

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all rights reserved

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about

my stillborn dream Bodfish, California

Kidnapped, blindfolded and bound with cheap silver duct tape by a gang of meth-cookin' hillbillies, Arliss Lost was transported to an unknown, foul-smelling location and tossed into a dark, dank basement. Given only a waste bucket & meager daily portions of roadkill jerky, he was forced to "make some got-dam music for everbuddy and don' be tryna get y'self up heer til its dun!"
And so, heertiz.
... more

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